#cool uncle lark

[stickandthorn]

I have a lot more final Midst thoughts than just this, but what occurs to me is that Tzila has been set up to be quite possibly to the coolest person in the universe post canon. She has a sorceress/bounty hunter’s divination bag and motorcycle, a functionally immortal dog, experience in combat an espionage and stowing away, a ring of extremely cool and (at least formerly) politically connected dads/uncles, and role models such as Lark and Saskia, all at age 12 1/2. Imagine her at 24. Absolutely unstoppably cool.

[nat-without-a-g]

I’m holding your hand I care too I care very much

Do you want to know part of why I care so much? The chosen one prophecy following the Oak family kids.

If I remember correctly, the prophecy says the firstborn child of the one who summoned the doodler would be the one to make it leave or something like that. Well, I’m pretty sure it’s been phrased as ONES, but we all know that Sparrow just kinda stood there. The most he did was say ‘hey dad Lark wants to talk to you.’ As much as the twins pretend, they are not the same man twice and their separate actions have separate consequences.

Meaning that if Normal is Lark’s son.

Well, the prophecy isn’t about Hero anymore. It literally can’t be.

slowly accepting that nobody cares as much abt the rebecca/lark affair and the possibility of lark being normal’s dad like i do. i will probably never got closure on it. i will not get a scene of lark embracing his son. and that’s fine i’m actually being really brave and level headed abt it. not even kind of foaming at the mouth.

[hamcatspamacc]

Not putting this on main but have some Dndads S1 actor au ideas/headcannons in these trying times! They all just headcannons so I would love to hear other interpretations or ideas that you might have!

Might draw some of these later if i feel like it

lark and sparrow irl are the same menaces as they are like they constantly confuse the cast by swappin places and pulling pranks

Willy is actually a super nice guy out of acting, and has to constntly check on cast members if theyre feeling alrght. Keeps buying food and feeding the cast memebers and the stagehands. Very good at acting scary that sometimes they cant tell if its real or not.

Daryl is not beating the bisexual allegations after the oakson kiss scene or the glenn daryl car argument. I need to animate that so badly actually.

Cern cgi shenanigans

They keep running out of fake blood

Ron is as equally weird as he is both irl and in acting. Just a weird little guy. Love him. He's literally just ron reincarnated holy shit. Like he keeps saying stuff that people think is supposed to be in relatance to the script but its actually just him being him.

Glenn has a huge fanclub and he can actually play the guitar. He puts on impromptu shows for fans during meet and greets. Bud loves the attention. Attention wjore

The kidadas are all good friends. They have lots of sleepovers and play games and stuff. Grant is actually really good at gaming in real life as well, which added to his resume. Goth terry. Goth terry. Socially awkward kid but talented actor. Nick can skateboard because I say so and teaches the others some cool tricks, which lark and sparrow instantly take to it.

"Yeah, you should just die or something."

"Sniffle (goes compeltely off script i dont remember what was supposed to be said)"

"Cut- Wait ron i didnt actually mean that-"

Some cool ass fight scenes like the barry oak confrontation behind the scenes with the props and rpatical effects. The twins have a field day with the blood effects.

The omega daddies are actually good friends outside of acting and they are gossipy old men. Cunty ahh. They like to hang out at cafes and gossip about people. They have quite the fashion sense lmao.

The tower of terry scene actually went through in one take, surprisingly. Ron kept going off script on accident and total awkwardness but it actually made the whole scene more complete.

Red carpet moment with the dads in cool looking suits and ron looking like well, ron. Im sorry ron is my favourite dad.

Henry is actually a vegan in real life, barry oak is not. Man just chomps on chicken wings in front of henry for fun. I hc that barry oak looks like belos toh dont at me.

The deez nuts joke went over so well that everyone constantly tries to deez nuts willy afterwards and he gets insanely paranoid about responding to people. When Willy hit Glenn back with the dragon deez nuts across the floor joke no one was as impressed like "its not the same"

Jodie and glenn arent siblings irl but they get on so well like one even out of acting due to their vastly different methodologies. Lots of fun sibling banter. I hc that jodie just looks like jimmy irl but more cop and buff looking.

The deck of many things episode with the reaper was probably really fun to film with all the effects and stuff.

The FREAKING PYRAMID. Of course they had to film that within the studio but they built a couple of steps for them to stand on. They actually got a water jet of apple juice in the studio. 2/4 of the dads got sick after filming that day.

Scam likely irl is a funny cool uncle archetype. His other roles involve wizardry and funkiness so this one was right up his alley.

I want a couple of shots of just the cast members breaking out in laughter after a particularly insane set of lines. they take SO many shots just to finish filming that scene. Bloopers my beloved you will always be famous.

Paeden bennets and Walter aren't acually related in real life but i hc that the kid playing Paeden is also an orphan and Walter irl adopts him in after filming and developing a bond with each other. Paeden being a giant zombie was probably fun to film like he would make jokes about how small everyone is even though its just cgi and dude is still tiny af irl.

I would like to think that the game at balls deep stadium was filmed at an actual nearby stadium that they rented out and they got to play an actual game of football after all of the shenanigans of filming.

Yeet bigly is actually disabled in real life, both of his lower legs are prostethics and made the attachment to skateboard pretty cool even though it took many, many tried and attempts to not fall flat on his face with some lessons from Nick on how to skateboard.

Glenn's trial arc of course took place in a real courthouse and they made a lot of ace attorney memes and bloopers but also ouch emotional damage. When Glenn read the script about the meth bay prison arc he was woah kinky

Erin o niel is a pretty cool and chill lady who does in fact love nature and would take walks to feel her role out. I hc that she was supposed to die at first during that library fight but she was so popular they overturned the script and look how that worked out for the better.

[teddyniffler]

In the Shadows of Friendship Forever.

Ominis and Anne sent Sebastian to Azkaban for his own good. Their friend and brother had changed from the kind boy he once was, and they regretted their decision ever since. They are desperate to have Sebastian back and are willing to do anything, anything. Ominis will even become the monster he vowed he was not.

The Fall of the House of Gaunt.

How did the ancient House of Gaunt, once among the wealthiest, most powerful, and most dangerous families in the wizarding world, become the desperate souls depicted in The Half-Blood Prince? How did Sebastian’s life sentence to Azkaban trigger the downfall of the heirs of Slytherin?

Chapter 40: In the Three Broomsticks a03

Sebastian’s breath caught in his throat as his pounding heart sent heat running across his entire body. He had been so stupid, he had been warned, hadn’t Professor Weasley and the other Weasleys repeatedly told him of the dangers the Gaunts posed to him? They had all warned him not to leave school, and all the lengths they had gone to just to ensure his safety. Why hadn’t he listened? Every adult had told him that the Gaunts could be anywhere, they had an intelligence network of people on their payroll, but it had never felt real to Sebastian, until now. How had news of him being in Hogsmeade reached the Gaunts so quickly?

Gaunt was looking down at Sebastian, his eyes searching, taking every detail of Sebastian’s face in and Sebastian was reminded of a snake eyeing up its food before it struck out. Ominis was almost the same height as his father now, and Sebastian looked right back into those icy cold eyes. How was it that any human eyes could have icy lightning bolts dancing across them, was it down to generations of inbreeding? Ominis’ eyes always reminded Sebastian of a cool feeling in the summer heat, like cold water in the heat, but his father’s were icy and cold, the sort of winter that kills people from exposure. As Sebastian looked, something flickered it’s black tongue through the buckle on Mr Gaunt’s cloak and Sebastian knew what it was, without any doubt at all. He didn’t want to see the serpent it belonged too.

“Hello?” Sebastian asked innocently. “It is very nice to meet you at last, Mr Sallow, Ominis has spoken so much about you. Your friendship with my boy must be very strong for you and your uncle to house him within your modest means.” Sebastian tried to keep his face natural. He was sure his shock was showing on his face. Nobody now would so much as look in their direction, even the very atmosphere of the square had changed. It had turned from festive to fearful in seconds, nobody was moving slowly now to admire the window displays and the smaller children had all vanished as parents moved them from the square and Ernie Lark had stopped playing, in fact he had packed up and apparated away. Even the snow had picked up speed as if it wanted to fall altogether and move on somewhere else, but somehow none of it touched Gaunt, as if it too feared to anger him.

Mr Gaunt reached out and touched Sebastian’s face, lifting his chin, causing Sebastian’s entire body to freeze. So much for his bravery, not even the troll two years ago had him rooted to the spot. His heart was pounding so fast he was starting to see the square in sharp focus as adrenaline flooded him, he didn’t know why but this man was more scarier than any Dementor held in Azkaban had ever been, more scarier than Rookwood and Harlow put together. He made Solomon in one of his worst tempers look extremely warm and caring and Sebastian could believe this man before him would have no qualms at all about torturing his own son.

“Azkaban has left its mark upon you boy, a pity, I imagine you were so handsome, almost to the standards of blood purity before they got to you, the Dementors. A pity they didn’t uncover evidence of your innocence until the damage was already done.” He spoke softly and gentle, very ‘well to do’ with a little hint of an accent from the north of England, but underneath, Sebastian could almost hear it, a mocking tone. It unnerved Sebastian to hear his voice. He sounded almost like Ominis, the same easy flow of words, same pitch, same pronunciation. No wonder people looked at his best friend in mistrust, fear and hatred. He was his father in every way, except for cruelty. Gaunt let go off his face slowly, his hands were warm, even in the cold. Sebastian didn’t know what else to do, so he just nodded, trying not to draw any more attention to himself. He risked a glance at Ominis, and he could see a great change had over come Ominis. His eyes were wide, facing slightly to the side, his mouth was open. Sebastian knew the look of shock on his friend mirrored his own exactly.

“It’s nice to meet you, Sir.” Sebastian finally said, looking back at the leader of the Gaunt family. He could see eyes on them, people walking by glancing at them and then looking away. “Festive shopping?” Gaunt asked and he smiled. “Ominis, stand up straight, you’re sloughing. Yes, Hogsmeade is one of my favourite places to shop too. A pity York is so full of muggles, otherwise it would have been my chosen destination, but it stinks of primitive people.” He glanced over at Gladrags as he spoke, oh yes, he liked this shop indeed as one of his informants was in there and look at what he had delivered! The Sallow boy at last. To Sebastian, Gaunt suddenly looked good natured and very ordinary, like anybody’s dad out with his son and his friend at Christmas. Sebastian did not lower his guard, despite feeling an urge to relax in Gaunt’s presence, almost as if it were being forced upon him. He put his guard right back up. You didn’t get a reputation like the one the Gaunt family had without evidence to back it up. A part of him – The area in his mind he was always fighting when it came to the Dark Arts - was also impressed, he could almost feel the power coming from Ominis’ father, he could sense this was a powerful wizard who knew things about magic that many others did not. What ancient knowledge of magic did this man know? He was descended from Slytherin himself, Sebastian’s own house founder. If only he was more approachable, he could ask him about Anne’s curse- He mentally shouted at himself. He would not go down that path again! However at the same time, he couldn’t help but look quickly at the man’s hand, one of those rings had to be the one Ominis’ told him about, one of the Deathly Hallows. He was jolted back to earth when he remembered this was also the man who had set a deadly snake loose in a hospital to find him. He was no friend of Sebastian and no matter how impressive he felt, he was more dangerous.

“Me and Sebastian were just finishing up.” Ominis muttered, “We were just finding somewhere to eat-“ “The Three Broomsticks.” Gaunt said with such certainty that Sebastian held his breath. “Shiva said you mentioned it. That’s my snake.” He said to Sebastian. Of course, Sebastian knew that. “I was not earsdropping on your conversation, however snakes hear things. Allow me to buy you both some food. It will be a pleasure to get to know you Sebastian, I have heard so many things about you.” Sebastian wanted to turn down the offer, take Ominis and flee, but he somehow knew he would never be allowed to turn down Gaunt. Ominis’ father placed a hand on his shoulder, and the other on his son, and lead both boys in the direction of the Three Broomsticks without another word. All the time, Mr Gaunt never took his eyes off Sebastian. Going over his height, his build, ever freckle on his cheek that faced Gaunt. He would be able to spot him now from a mile away, he knew exactly what he looked like.

A bell charmed merrily as they stepped into the pub. Ominis was forcing his breathing to be slow and even, with anybody else, this may seem a friendly gesture, a parent insisting on buying them both a meal after a day shopping, but Ominis knew his father better than anybody in the world. Whenever he put his hands on Ominis like this, he was either talking important matters without wanting to be heard or interrupted by anybody else, or, he was leading you somewhere as he was not happy with you. Ominis wished he could speak to Sebastian without his father knowing, but that was impossible. Either way, wizards in his father’s inner circle knew a hand on your shoulder was not a good thing.

Looking around, all the tables were very full of both Hogwarts students, teachers and people from the village, everybody appeared to be shopping today with it being so close to Christmas. Gaunt clicked his fingers and flicked his hand as he passed the bar, Sirona was serving there. Sebastian had been looking forward to seeing her so much, yet the look that passed her face when she saw Gaunt was hard to read. He had seen her standing up to Rookwood and Harlow the last time he had been here a few years ago, Sebastian knew she was brave, yet she seemed to deflate when she saw the decedent of Slytherin in her pub. All her strength drained out of her and she clearly looked uneasy, almost afraid too. She seemed to shrink, becoming smaller and quite, meeker. It wasn’t just her, there had been music when they had walked in, cheery upbeat festive music, but it was as if the volume had been turned down. Yet as Gaunt approached the back of the pub, it seemed people got out of the way of him, Sebastian couldn’t help but notice a fair amount of hostile looks towards Gaunt and even to himself and Ominis by association. More though, most people just got out of his way.

“What a lovely table, shall we have this one?” Gaunt said, steering the two boys to the table by the fireplace that was packed with people all mingling just moments ago. Sebastian sat, Ominis felt for his chair and sat too as Gaunt sat facing them both. “It is very comfortable by the fire after the snow outside.” Sebastian nodded, a small smile on his face for friendliness. Ominis was sat as rigid as any of the wooden ceiling beams above them. “Yes father.” Ominis unfroze himself and reached out to feel for a menu, Gaunt pushed one into his hand, before handing one to Sebastian. As Ominis took out his wand to read the food list, Sirona came walking up to their table. “What may I get you today?” She asked in a strange, very forced upbeat voice. “Three Christmas teas and a Yorkshire brew for me.” Gaunt said, his accent changing very dramatically that Sebastian looked up. Gaunt had decided to use the local dialect and accent of his native Yorkshire to trip her up. Sirona blinked and her face dropped as she quickly tried to work through the musical tone in his accent and the unfamiliar words. Ominis blinked at the injustice, he and Marvolo had always been shouted at for using local terms or allowing too much of their northern accent to slip into their speech because it didn’t reflect his affluent upbringing, he knew tea back home really meant dinner and a brew meant a cup of tea. He knew at once why his father was doing this, he was insulting Sirona to her face using words alone. By opting to speak like a commoner from home, he was lowing his intelligence to the standard he believed matched Sirona. Ominis’ insides burned with anger, but he was too scared to even let it show on his face. Sebastian didn’t notice anything, he was stunned at how weird all of this had become, glancing at Ominis.

Sirona’s face was fixed in a strange unnatural look, almost as if she was trying her hardest to look composed, even as she still struggled to work out the words Gaunt had just said and the implications. She couldn’t afford to look stupid in front of him by asking him what had he meant. She was the landlady here. Gaunt knew it too, just by looking at her. He and Marvolo liked to toy with her whenever they were in here, insulting her, mocking her and passing it off as upper-class gentleman behaviour. He knew fine well she had no Yorkshire tea, Yorkshire was a long way away, down through most of Scotland, across the English boarder and past several counties. It was almost three hundred miles away, but he liked to watch lesser people struggle to meet his demands. “Of course, so three Christmas dinners and a pot of Yorkshire tea?” She confirmed, silently thanking her regular customers from the north of England that she could remember their terms. “Could I have a Butterbeer?” Sebastian asked. “Me too.” Ominis spoke “Or maybe mead?” “You shall have Butterbeer, you only drink mead in the family home.” His father scorned. Sirona seemed to have noticed Sebastian for the first time, she did a double take and he could see the shock on her face, how her eyes quickly ran over him and recognition dawned on her. Sebastian imagined how this day would go, he had expected things to be normal again, but the way Sirona was looking at him and then to Gaunt and Ominis, he knew then that by being with Gaunt, he was perhaps presenting himself not in a way he wanted to. So much for trying to make people believe he was a good person.

She said nothing to him, but give Gaunt another fake smile and left a copy of their order on the table before rushing out behind the bar. There was a loud CRACK as she gave the order for a barmaid to apparate to York in England at once to fetch some tea. Back at their table, Gaunt’s eyes glittered with the light from the dancing flames, malice reflected in them. In that moment, he looked every bit the father of Marvolo Gaunt, the same cold cruelty, the same amusement ran across his eyes that often lit up Marvolo’s. It interested him, the lengths people would go too just to please him, including running off to Yorkshire just for him on one of their busiest days. “So, Sebastian.” He said, examining the boy across the table from him. His normal accent back, but now alive with energy. “I must say I have been wanting to meet you for some time, but a shame really, I always seem to miss you.” He said those last words slowly and in a drawled-out way. “I had been visiting St Mungos on charitable business, but you were not in your bed when I stopped by. Then again at Kings Cross, I had hoped to intercept you and introduce myself, but again, you were nowhere to be seen. You must be very good at hiding.” He laughed good natured and again, for a moment, he looked like anybody’s dad, Sebastian didn’t know if he should laugh too in order to keep Gaunt happy or keep silent for safety. “Bit of bad timing, I guess.” He said innocently enough. “I’m not the best at time keeping and I wasn’t well at St Mungos. I think I wondered off or something.” Gaunt smiled, but his eyes were icy. “Yes, fortune has not shinned upon us until now.”

Sebastian pretended to be interested in the display across the fireplace. Sirona had placed stockings across in festive colours, and some were filled with fake little parcels. Dried fruit hung, casting festive smells all around. It all looked very cosy. He knew Gaunt being here right now was no coincidence, somebody had seen Sebastian and they had let Gaunt know. It was stupid, beyond stupid of Sebastian to come here, but he had no choice but to play along. It was a long path that separated Hogsmeade from Hogwarts and who knew where Marvolo was, he could be waiting as backup. “I was so concerned when I heard you went missing. I am a parent as you may guess” Gaunt said, nodding at Ominis, “Enlighten me and ease my concern, where did you go Sebastian, when you left St Mungos? A sick underaged wizard, a boy really, should not have been allowed to slip out of hospital like that. I do hope you were not on your own somewhere. A terrible failure on behalf of St Mungos. I do hope somebody was looking after you?” Gaunt said and he sounded so concerned for Sebastian’s welfare that Sebastian almost believed the act himself, but he knew (And Ominis too) that there was questioning behind the fake concern. “Oh- I don’t really remember.” Sebastian said. “I’m not sure what happened, I just remember coming to my senses and I was sleeping on the streets, I went to the Leaky Cauldron and managed to get an owl to Hogwarts.” Sirona came over with two bottles of butterbeer and a teapot full of Yorkshire tea for Gaunt.

“Hogwarts helped you? Oh jolly good, you know, Phineas never said! That’s Phineas Black, our families are very close friends.” Gaunt said, making it very obvious he didn’t belief what Sebastian had just told him. “Oh, Professor Black didn’t involve himself in student matters, father, It was likely another teacher.” Ominis put in. “Well I think that’s what happened, I can’t really remember. It’s like a Bludger hit my head.” Sebastian said, trying to act casual. “I then just remember being taken to Kings Cross.” “You seem well enough now though; Are you fully recovered?” Gaunt asked. It was like being interrogated by the Aurors at the Ministry all over again. “Yeah.” Sebastian said, again trying to sound casual. “I guess. I’m back at school and doing exams.” Sirona came back to their table and laid down three plates full with food. There was some quiet grumbling nearby, it seemed their food had been given priority over the other orders and they had jumped the line. “Can you fetch a steak knife please, for the turkey.” Gaunt requested of her. Ominis noticed he had used the word ‘fetch’ as if Sirona was a dog. If Sirona had noticed, she didn’t let it show. “Of course.” She returned in seconds with the knife and Gaunt took it, he started playing with it between his fingers, making no attempt to cut his turkey. “Tuck in.” He said, indicating the boys should start eating. He himself ate and made small talk that was just the interrogation continuing, such as where was Sebastian planning on spending Christmas this year (“Hogwarts.”) What were his plans for after school (“I don’t know yet.”) How was his sister (“Anne’s very well, thanks.”)

“I must say, I was very worried about Ominis. Eleven-year-olds are not rational and it deeply worried my wife and I when Ominis ran away from home and refused to return or say where he was. It seemed he found a really loving family to take him in.” Gaunt said. His voice was still fatherly, but Sebastian could hear it oozing with sarcasm. “Yeah, my uncle took-“ Sebastian looked down, something had touched his hand, which was resting on his knee. There was something thin and silver sliding up into his sleeve. He hadn’t even noticed the snake coming up his leg, but now he could feel it moving up his arm and it was only seconds later he felt a flicker on the side of his neck, the tail was sticking outside of his sleeve, resting on his leg. “Um, is that your snake?” Sebastian asked, terror flooding him. Next to him, Ominis’ head whipped around fast, even though he couldn’t see anything. “Shiva?” He gasped “Father, she’s on Sebastian!” “Is she?” Gaunt said brightly, faking surprise “She must like you, Sebastian.” Sebastian’s whole body went tense as the snake continued to move, now coming up the side of his face, flicking her tongue near his eyes. He could see the thing from the side of his eye. “Shiva is the real brawl of our family, a Black Mamba which is a little misleading, she’s not black for one thing, but silver and highly venomous, she’s one of the fastest breeds of snake in the world. She’s been in my family since I was a young boy, a gift from my parents on my seventh birthday. It may seem odd to most, gifting a dangerious snake, but that is our way. Magnificent, isn’t she?” He asked. “Yeah. But I’m not really one for snakes.” Sebastian said softly. “But you are in my ancestor’s house.” Observed Gaunt. “You’re a Slytherin too.” “True, but I don’t think any of the Gryffindor’s have pet lions.” Sebastian tried to sound light-hearted, but his heart was racing. He felt sick. The snake was flickering its tongue on his eye lashes, making him blink. He wanted to scream, wanted to throw this snake off him, but knew it would bite him. Maybe it would still bite him regardless. “So, which wizarding families are the Sallows close too? I don’t know much about the half blood circles or their networks.” Lied Gaunt, he knew of course, he knew everything in the wizarding world. “Well, not the Prewitt’s. Me and their son have never gotten along, we’ve got into plenty of fights. Mostly my family just keeps to itself, in our little village.” Sebastian said, his hands sweating like crazy. “I don’t know who my parents were close too, they were professors, so they mostly just stayed at Hogwarts.” ‘He’s fishing for information’ Sebastian thought to himself. He mustn’t even mention the Weasley’s. Shiva was flickering her tongue up and down Sebastian’s chin now. “Um. Could you please move the snake?” Sebastian asked quietly as the snake’s head came level with his eyes and he found himself looking right into the round hole which was its mouth. “I just don’t feel comfortable around snakes.” Gaunt didn’t rely. He just continued to watch Sebastian. Ominis’ unseeing eyes were flicking between Sebastian’s voice and his father’s.

“Which family took you in?” Gaunt asked softly. “None.” Sebastian lied quickly. “Nobody took me in, I stayed at school in the hospital wing. I was already at Hogwarts for weeks before term started.” “Father...!” Ominis said, then he hissed ‘Shiva, get off him now!’ “Do not command my snake, Ominis.” Gaunt said, holding a finger up at Ominis, which Sebastian thought was pointless as his son couldn’t see him. “Which family? Who knows about you?” Gaunt asked quietly. “Nobody. Nobody knows anything” Sebastian said, now going cross eyed as the snake came closer and closer to the centre of his eyes. He was barely holding down his panic. He wondered why nobody was coming to his aid and knew in his mind they were all too scared to make any movements. Nobody was taking any notice of what was going on at their table, but everybody knew. What cowards! “Nobody knows anything.” Gaunt watched Sebastian, who couldn’t look away from Shiva who was demonstrating her intimidation tactics to perfection. “Well then, that’s good.” Gaunt laughed and took a sip of his tea. “See why I said Shiva is the brawl of the family? She can get answers out of anybody, I don’t even have to use the Cruciatus Curse half the time. Shiva, leave the dirty half-blood alone.”

Sssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhh.

The snake hissed down his ear as it moved out and down his robes, across the table and back to her master. “So, nobody knows the truth about your uncle? Good, make it sure it stays that way.” Mr Gaunt said even more quieter. “I went to so much hard work for you and I don’t appreciate when those I’ve helped double cross me. I would not like it, at all, if you were to suddenly recover from your memory loss and talk about your past actions to whomever took you in.” Gaunt learned across the table and Sebastian was startled. He really had a resemblance to Ominis up close that Sebastian was almost convinced this was his friend. “I don’t mind the company of murderers and liars, dark doers or otherwise, my own family have their fair share of kills and we know more of the Dark Arts then you do your own fingerprints, but those with loose tongues? I don’t suffer them at all.” Sebastian felt a cold shiver run down his spine. Gaunt was still playing with the sharp steak knife in his hands, and as his snake returned to the folds of his robes, he lashed out quickly and brought the knife down and into the table, less than an inch from Sebastian’s hands. Sebastian yelped and took his hands off the table, glancing down at the knife with wide eyes. He was shaking now, his food threatening to come back up. This man was insane.

“What’s happening?” Ominis asked loudly. “Sebastian?” All around them, people were now watching with horror, but in small hurried looks, looking at the knife in the table and then at Gaunt and the boy clearly being interrogated by the man. The sound of wooden chairs moving started up, as everybody nearby suddenly decided that they didn’t want to be in this area of the pub after all, in moments, the noise in the area dropped as the other patrons moved away to other parts in the pub. “The steak knife is in the table.” Sebastian said weakly. “Be thankfully it’s not in your hand.” Gaunt laughed softly. “So, Sebastian, whichever low life, questionable family has taken you in, make sure they don’t learn too much about you.” Gaunt picked up some turkey on his fork and started eating. Sebastian and Ominis felt they didn’t have much of an appetite after that.

Sirona came back not too long after to collect the used plates, she saw the knife sticking in the table but decided not to comment on it. “Ominis, I see no reason to make a trip down to London tomorrow to pick you up from the train, you will return to your home tonight with me, it’s the last day of term anyway before the holidays, what is a few more hours? We shall walk dear Sebastian back to the castle, we don’t want him getting lost again – but then, somebody from Hogwarts will likely find him and take him in.” Gaunt laughed. Sebastian didn’t speak a word after that. The rest of the meal past in silence, with Gaunt and his snake hissing quietly to each other, having a deep conversation while Ominis and Sebastian slipped butterbeer. A few times Gaunt would gesture in Sebastian’s direction and the snake would turn its head to look right at him. Ominis’ ears were picking everything up as Sebastian glanced from the knife still sticking in the table to Ominis. Finally the snake retreated back into Gaunt’s robes. Then they got up and simply left, without even paying, which made Sebastian feel like an entirely new sort of criminal as he saw Sirona deflate again at the lost of income.

Sirona for a moment looked like she wanted to say something, but then lost all confidence, or maybe she just wanted the Gaunts out of her pub before all hell broke loose. They walked slowly back to Hogwarts, with Sebastian knowing how much he had messed up. He glanced at Ominis out of the side of his eyes. His friend looked paler than normal. What was stopping Gaunt from coming to see who picked him up tomorrow? Sebastian couldn’t help but think he had placed the Weasleys in great danger by being out at Hogsmeade today. He did not dare to even look at Mr Gaunt as the snow started to fall down again. “I understand it that you will be at Ominis’ wedding in the summer?” Gaunt asked as they approached the gates to Hogwarts. “Oh, um” Sebastian said, looking at Ominis. “If I can? Ominis has told me he’s marrying his cousin.” Sebastian kept his voice even, there was no way Gaunt could know they were both plotting on getting Ominis far away from his family before that ever happened, could he? “He is.” Gaunt said. “A friend of Ominis is very welcome at his wedding. Bring your sister, I have another son you know, Marvolo. I should introduce your sister to him.” Sebastian nodded, his skin crawling. “Sure.”

The gates to the school had been blown closed with the wind that had picked up, it was getting dark and the lights across the path had turned on. Sebastian went to open the gates himself, but Gaunt held his hand out and the gates slowly opened to let Sebastian in. Sebastian glanced as Gaunt lowered his hand and knew he had just seen wandless magic at work. Perfect magic, perfect control. “Goodbye for now Sebastian, be sure to enjoy your Christmas holidays at the school.” Gaunt sneered. Sebastian smiled and nodded, everything about Gaunt’s face right now told Sebastian he didn’t believe for a second that Sebastian was staying at school over the holidays. “Thanks. Happy Christmas Ominis, have a good holiday.” He didn’t want to let Ominis go. He wanted to reach out and drag Ominis to safety, away from his father, but Mr Gaunt had already placed his hand on Ominis’ shoulder and was steering his son away.

Sebastian stepped over the threshold into Hogwarts, he couldn’t have moved fast enough and broke into a run the second Gaunt was out of sight behind the wall. He ran until he was back in the warm light of the school. He didn’t stop inside the castle, but kept running, past first and seconds years who were too young to go to the village, he tore through Professor Garlick who was coming in from the courtyard, earning himself a disapproving yell from her as he ran, full out, to his transfiguration class. He needed to warn Garreth’s parents not to pick him up tomorrow, how was he ever going to explain what had happened?

He didn’t knock on the door, but ran in. “Professor! I-“ He stopped as Professor Sharp turned to look at him in half anger, half surprise. He had interrupted something important, Professor Sharp quickly vanished the image of Hogwarts and what looked like the systems under the school he had just been showing Weasley. “Sorry.” Sebastian said weakly. His breathing was coming hard and heavy with panting. “Gaunts.” A look flash across Sharp’s face as Professor Weasley moved closer. “What has happened?” She asked, concern across her face as she took in the snow in Sebastian’s hair, the look of horror on his face. “Can I talk to you alone?” Sebastian asked. “I will take my leave, however in future Mr Sallow, maybe knock first?” Sharp said, he looked back at Professor Weasley. “I will discuss this more with you later.” Sebastian lowed himself into a chair to catch his breath, he heard the door clicking closed.

“Can you tell your brother I can’t come for Christmas after all. Gaunt found me. I- I went to Hogsmeade, he was there. He threatened me, he wants to know who took me in. I’m sorry Professor, I know I wasn’t meant to go, but..I- I just needed to feel normal again. I’ve put your family in danger, - he’s going to be looking.” Sebastian was trembling, he could almost feel the snake still on his skin. Professor Weasley came over to him, he fully expected her to be angry, but she just placed her hand on his shaking shoulder. “You silly boy, but I am happy you are in one piece still. What did he say to you exactly?” She listened to everything he said closely.

“It’ll have been one of the businesses in the village I should wager. The Gaunts have deep pockets and their influence is everywhere, you wouldn’t even believe just how connected they are. That does not matter, what matters is you are ok, you’re unhurt.” “What about your family?” He asked quietly. “They can’t keep looking after me, not with Ga-“ “Shush now.” Professor Weasley said “My family are more than happy to help the Sallows. Your parents were well respected wizards, but they were also good people and that matters more to certain wizarding families. More than what the Gaunts could ever understand.” “But he could be there tomorrow. He doesn’t believe I’m staying at Hogwarts-“

Professor Weasley silenced him with a smile. “Floo Powder works at Hogwarts. I shall inform Garreth of our change of plans, and send word to my brother. I will send you and Garreth home from here. I can also book you seats on the Knight bus to return to Hogwarts. Gaunt may want to intimidate, but he’s not as smart as he thinks. He’s no Ravenclaw. The train is not the only way to travel, so there’s no reason for you not to go.”

She smiled at him. “But maybe no more Hogsmeade trips, for your own safety.” He nodded.

@queenfinehair @myfavouritelunatic @sekkitsu

[begaydodrughailsatan]

YEAHHHHHHHH GLENN AND LARK!!!!

GLENN AND LARK ARE SOOOOO COOL ASS UNCLE AND NEPHEW THAT BUYS WEED FROM HIM WHILE THEY TALK SHIT TOGETHER CODED!!!!

[jimmyandthegiraffes]

Fic Writing Review 2023 🌈

Thank you sm @itwoodbeprefect for the tag!!!

I hardly published anything this year so if u wanna skip to 'projects for 2024' that's gonna be the most interesting bit >.<

Words and Fics (on ao3) 📚

words posted: 714 💀 but many more words were written, just not posted lol fics posted: 1 first fic/last fic 😅: King of the Eyesores - Doctor Who (1963)

Ships and Fandoms ⚓

Doctor Who - no ships really but KotE is Mike Yates-centric.

Top 5 Fics by Kudos 🏆

It's KotE again lol which is at 6 kudos. Of all time, tho:

After the Hour(glass) - Night at the Museum (Jedtavius)

Less Than Ideal Circumstances - The Man from UNCLE (TV) (Napollya)

When They Sleep - The Man from UNCLE (TV)

Dismiss Your Fears - Back to the Future

After All, I'm Only Sleeping - Doctor Who (1963)

Top 5 Favorite Fics 💖

KotE......... I do actually rly enjoy KotE I think it has potential in terms of where it's going. But since I only posted one fic in 2023, I'll do my top 5 of fics I've ever posted. Apart from the first one this is in no particular order

tickertape - The A-Team (TV) it's my baby it's all I thought about for months of my life, it's like an iceberg (i.e. most of it is in my WIP doc, and only a tiny fraction is published so far), it got me thru a difficult time, it's an exploration of mental illness and complicated messy relationships expressed in epic format (i.e. it's probably gonna be novel length when it's done)

Bullet Number Six - Starsky & Hutch (TV) it received criticism for being obscure and hard to follow bc it switches pov briefly halfway thru but idc i love it anyway

I Gotta Right to Sing the Blues - The A-Team (TV) it was my first A-Team fic and I still think for a beginner it nailed some p realistic in-character dialogue and addressed an undertone I wished I'd seen addressed in the ep it's a coda to.

When They Sleep - The Man from UNCLE (TV) it's kind of riddled with certain mannerisms of my slightly older writing which I personally find a bit annoying and have worked to iron out for the sake of elegance over the years. but I still think it's a cool little exploration of all my sleep headcanons for the pair of them in one place

King of the Eyesores - Doctor Who (1963) see it made it to the list after all! I kinda like it more for its potential than for what it is right now butttttt who cares.

special mention to Unbereft (Starsky & Hutch) which I really really like but I wrote it in one frenzied sitting and only remembered after I'd posted it that it was very like someone else's fic I'd read several years previously. I don't think it's too much like to be taken down and I've since mentioned the writer of the other fic (it was dawnwind, hello!) in the notes. that's the only reason unbereft isn't in my top 5 because I'm otherwise really proud of how well it's written. Not to tootle on my own trumpet.

Fandom fic events

none RIP but maybe this year!!

Projects for 2024

Okay here we goooooooooooo

priority 1 is to finish the unfinished works that I've already half posted: King of the Eyesores, Every Line A Comedy, OUTATIME, The Windhover, tickertape, The Hanoi Bank Job and Other Misadventures, 38 Hours. Bolded are my top priorities.

other works that I'm writing but which haven't seen the light of day at all yet:

Dear Mike - an epistolary between Jo Grant and Mike Yates following her marriage to Cliff Jones.

The Lark/Behind That Locked Door (working titles) - a 30-chapter 2/Jamie fic about season 6B in which Jamie suffers permanent memory problems after the War Games. It explores grief, social ostracism, feeling abandoned, undirected anger, guilt, and acceptance that healing sometimes is a process that is never complete. I've been working on it since about 2016 lol but I'm lazy I just need to press on.

hell valley au - as yet untitled lol. In which the Hell Valley!Marty (who is never seen in BTTF2 as he is in Switzerland) and Hell Valley!Doc (who has been institutionalized) break out of their respective situations and go on the run together. But there's a problem - they had to leave Einstein behind, and when they get information that Einie is to be used for a dogfight, they make the risky decision to go back to Hill Valley to rescue him. However, going back to the place they just escaped by the skin of their teeth also brings them face to face with the last person they expect to meet.

a changed man (working title) - a Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased) fic from Jeannie's pov. mostly it's about their picnic excursions but it's also about Jeannie wishing Marty wasn't such an elephant in the room

mfu/rahd xover (untitled) - the first chapter of this is almost ready to go tbh. it's what it says on the tin lol, Napoleon and Illya go to London and get help from a rather eccentric private detective who has uncanny powers of solving impossible cases but also they think is probably clinically insane

to see him happy - VERY weird rahd fic. it's smut but its also about grief. might never post it because several of my family members have access to my tumblr and therefore my ao3 lol they dont need to see that

the winter of '62 - a study of jeff and marty's life when they lived together in a grotty bedsit and couldnt afford to put the heating on

star wars (untitled) - set during ROTJ, han pov. han's lost a lot of time and now everyone is one step ahead of him which isn't a sensation he's used to

skyrissian - what it says on the tin lol

the older gen (untitled) - jeeves fic about bertie's aunts and uncles and parents as they were as they variously grew up, got married, had children, died (or didn't), fell prey to alcoholism or insanity or petty crime, went to war, prospered (or didn't)... This is pretty unlikely to be finished this year tbh as it's very detailed but I can dream

a couple of long form fics about starsky & hutch and mfu respectively (the s&h one is set post sweet revenge, the mfu one takes place at various moments throughout the show)

x-files series - canon compliant until paperclip and then gradually diverges into how i think the show should have gone lol. another biggie

and a handful of tintin fics that im protective of and might never post but we'll see - one where tintin and chang go on holiday in london after picaros, one where the gang encounters rajaijah one last time (featuring a letter from didi, chang making a very daring crossing at the songolese border, and tintin taking about ten years to chop up a clove of garlic), and one where tintin gets shitfaced at an embassy ball and accidentally starts an Incident. haddock looks on, appalled.

i knoooooooooooooooowww this is a lot but i'm not realistically hoping to finish it all this year but it's nice to have lots of things to play around with lol.

unfortunately i have the eternal problem of not ever knowing which of my mutuals write fic and which of those havent already been tagged but imma tag @theteaisaddictive and genuinely if u see this and u write fic ur tagged i want to knowwwwwwwwwwwww <333

[therealeagal]

Rating Disney films

I'm waiting on an event that will occur in my approximate future, so while I wait I thought I would kill time with a rating of some Disney movies. What a lark! But before we begin:

Item: The scale will be F, D, C, B, A. Normally I would consider C to be the base starting point, but since Disney is a heartless mega-conglomerate that would sell orphan souls if they thought there was a market for it, I'm sorry to say that every film is automatically docked a point, so we're starting at D.

Item: I'm only going to cover the ones I've seen, and only the ones from pretty recently. The last ten years, let's say. Otherwise we'll be here all day and I probably will have got shit to do.

Ok, let's go.

Frozen. Elsa and Anna and their hangs-on that no one really cares about. Good music. Idina Menzel? Holy shit I got it right on the first try. Go me! Idina is a great singer, so that bumps Frozen up a notch. Great animation, except for that one bit during Let It Go where Elsa's ponytail phases through her arm, but I guess I'll...let it go. Eh? Eh? Come on admit it, that was funny. A dumb subversion of true love, but then an interesting subversion of the subversion so I'll give it a point. But then there's...everything else. Preventable conflict, forgettable everyone that isn't Elsa and Anna, stupid character decisions, a twist villain who has literally no reason to exist and who is not connected to the central conflict in any way whatsoever. It's the works. Also, I'm told there's some debate over whether the side character Oaken is married to a man or woman. The art style makes it hard to tell. Normally I'd give it a point but since this is Disney, I'm going to file that under "Gay reference so that Disney gets bonus points but it was super minor so that Disney can easily edit it out for international releases in countries that hate the LGBT community". Which loses it a point instead.

Final score: F. Oh yeah. Coming out of the gate swinging. I wonder how much hate I'll get for that.

Big Hero 6. Hiro Hamada and the rest. No musical numbers, but it does have Baymax and jokes about puberty, which are...funny I guess. I guess. It does have a twist villain, but that's a gimme. He's a supervillain. Would Norman Osbourn be half the villain without being the father of Peter Parker's best friend? It loses a point because Hiro's older brother was too good to deserve being Uncle Bened. I wish my brother was as cool as Tadashi was. And that he was also Uncle Bened. I'll trade my brother for superpowers. See if I won't.

Final score: B. SO close.

Zootopia. The furry movie. I saw it. It didn't turn me into a furry any more than 90 years of Mickey Mouse did. Maybe I oughta dock it a point for that. Good story, entertaining leads, entertaining side characters. Catchy music. But it had a twist villain. Get some new material, guys.

Final score: B. Almost got it.

Moana. Good movie. Good characters. Good music. Who knew Dwayne Johnson could sing? No twist villain. Actually, there's a twist hero. Double points for that.

Final score: A. Huzzah! We finally got an A!

Coco: Ah, Coco. Good movie. Good music. Good characters. I will dock a point for preventable conflict, but righting former wrongs makes up for it. Very heartwarming. Double points for heartwarming. Also, another M. Rivera journeys to the Land of the Dead in search of his ancestors. And Imelda is voiced by the same actress that did Manny Rivera. I wonder if that was intentional.

Final score: A.

Incredibles 2. The first Incredibles missed the cutoff. Oops. It's a sequel so...ehhhhh. Another twist villain, but it's a supervillain so normally it wouldn't count, but the villain has no personal connection to Helen and only second-hand connection to Bob, so fuck Screenslaver. Overall, doesn't really stand out.

Final score: D. Ehhhhhhhhhh...

Live Action Aladdin. An acquaintance of mine she got super thirsty over Mena Massoud, so I'll give him double points. Will Smith did...ok I guess. I guess. I liked Jasmine's new song tho.

Final score. Ehhhhhhh...I wanna give it a good score, but I really can't give it better than a C. I'm sorry Mena and Naomi! Forgive meeeeeeeeeeee!

Live Action The Lion King. Yeah...no...

Final score: F. Not even Beyonce could save it. I think I may have committed a crime against humanity by saying that...

Frozen II. A sequel...ehhhhh...good story I guess. I guess. Good music, I will concede. New characters are forgettable and Elsa didn't get a girlfriend. I don't think it had a real conflict? Question mark? Just righting past wrongs wasn't it? I forget. Assuming there were no villains, because otherwise I'd have to dock a point for forgettable villains.

Final score: C. +2 -1. Hey at least it's not an F. I wonder how much hate I'll get for rating the sequel higher.

Onward. Troll brothers, one's a nerd, the other's a slacker. It's actually quite good. Don't remember the music, so it doesn't get any points. It had a "token acknowledgement of a gay character that can be easily edited out for international" so that's a minus.

Final score:

Luca. Another good movie. Very heartwarming. There is some debate over whether this movie counts as "Young boys discovering their sexuality but only in the vaguest possible terms so that it can be easily rewritten for international" or just "Young friends that is only homoerotic if you squint and maybe audiences are reading a little too much into it". And I mean, I could see it. I'm not that good at squinting and I can see it. I'll give you that it's possible. I don't necessarily think it's probable, but I'll take the point anyway because Disney's not dumb, just evil. They knew.

Final score: B.

Ron's Gone Wrong. Being honest, I was totally unaware that this was Disney. I saw the dvd at Wal-Mart and thought it looked cute. Which it is. Very heartwarming friendship. And the kids that the kid wants to be friends with turn out to be good kids and not little shits at all.

Final score: B.

Encanto. Another good one. I have to dock it a point for more preventable conflict, but otherwise, great characters, great music, great story, great ending, great family. Great Scott, have we got another A?

Final score: Yep, it's an A.

Lightyear. Really? This is the movie that Andy saw? But this Buzz acts nothing like that Buzz! Twist villain, token acknowledgement of a gay character that can be easily edited out for international. I mean, I liked it. I like Buzz and I like Alisha and I like Izzy and I like Sox, but is that enough?

Final score: B. -3 +4. I preferred the animated series.

Strange World. Didn't finish it. Stopped halfway and got sidetracked by something else and never got around to picking it back up, but it does have a gay secondary character in the main character's son and I seem to recall he gets a recurring subplot about how fit the guy he likes is.

Final score: Ah heck, let's give it an A just because the gay character wasn't of the "easily edited out for international" variety.

Elemental. Loved this movie. Very heartwarming. I say that a lot. It's Disney. What do you expect? Technically it does have a preventable conflict, but the preventableness is central to the story, so that's a gimme.

Final score: A.

Wish: Bending the rules, because I haven't seen it but I hope to some time soon. I'll be optimistic and wish upon a star that this movie gets all the points.

Final final score: A. Huzzah!

In closing if you don't agree with my ratings, or with the reasons I have given for the ratings, you are, of course, entitled to your own opinions, but I don't want to hear it so find someone else to whinge at.

Please and thank you. :)

[greiiliss]

So, Lark and Sparrow are ~13, right? And they're both "wild children", they're "disrupting to the class". And their dad doesn't do much about it, not really. He focuses on encouraging desirable behaviors rather than correcting bad behavior. So the twins live their childhood essentially out of check, and they start to develop this idea that they can kind of do whatever they want with no real consequences (kinda like their grandfather).

They get to the Forgotten Realms, and they get taken to Neverwinter, and they learn that people here think the Doodler, the school mascot that Sparrow made up, is a real, powerful creature. And they learn about the prophecy that a Lord of Chaos will bring the Doodler into world, and they figure out (or decide) that the prophecy's about them. They decide "'The Lord of Chaos', that's really cool! We should do that! Then we'd be really cool!"

But their dad stops them, and Sparrow kind of changes his mind. But they don't give up on wanting to be as cool as possible. A lot of stuff happens until eventually, they bring about the end of the world. For quite possibly the first time in their lives, their actions have very real, very bad consequences. The worst thing that has ever happened to them or anyone they have ever known, was their fault.

They don't know how to handle this, they've never had to before. They get angry, blaming themselves and each other. They feel guilty and stupid. It strains their relationships, not only with their family and friends, but with each other.

I imagine they tried to take some sort of comfort from the knowledge that them releasing the end of the world was prophesied. It was inevitable, fated, and if it was fated, it can't be entirely their fault. They weren't children making a dumb decision, they were tools of fate, acting out a prophecy. It was their purpose.

And then they hear about another prophecy. One about a Chosen One who will stop the Doodler and undo all of the damage they caused. And they figure out (or decide) that it's going to be one of their first kid.

Rebecca gets pregnant, and Hero arrives, named for the role she's destined to fulfill. The twins are desperate for something, anything, just one chance to fix their mistake, and they've pinned all their hopes on Hero. So they train her, and train her, and train her, pushing her to do better, be better, be perfect. They drill the story of what they did wrong into her head and remind her over and over that it's her responsibility to fix it. They mold her into the tool they think fate wants her to be.

Hero is ~17, and she's a person, not a tool. She is scared, and lonely, and she is bending under the crushing weight of the pressure her father and uncle (and who knows which is which) are putting on her shoulders. And they don't notice, or they don't care. She has no one to talk to, no one who could possibly understand and sympathize with her situation. So she decides that she's done. She's sick of the training they've put her through and the expectations they put on her. She gets a job delivering pizza, and an internship at the JPL in another world, probably to fill up her schedule so her father and uncle don't have any opportunity to take her away for more training. I personally think she's also saving up money to try and get away from her family.

This is the real Oak family curse, it seems, for the fathers to drive their kids away. Barry expected Henry to be perfect and ignored him when he was anything less. Henry's complete lack of discipline caused tension between him and his sons, even post-Doodler, when he wouldn't punish them for something they felt they should be eternally punished for. Sparrow had one completely honest conversation with Normal, and it resulted in Normal completely rethinking his entire identity. And now we learn that Lark and Sparrow have been traumatizing Hero all along. For a family that has based its identity around "working with all sides of an issue", the Oak-Swallows-Garcias have a lot of trouble listening to and accepting their own kids.

[herman-unworthy-askblog]

if ur normals husband or whatever u need to treat him good ok. im his uncle ig so i need 2 threaten u and shit but ur pretty cool so ull probably b fine

but ive put ppl in the ground 4 less

-lark ⛓️☠️

You know I’m somewhat glad I’m getting the shovel talk from you instead of your older self

Do not want to mess with him…

[anoctoberpepper]

Sparklers and Death Dice

Lark pulls a sparkler out of the box, twirls it around a few times, then jabs it into Nick’s forearm. Sparks burst to life on the tip, sizzling and cracking as Nick yelps and smacks Lark’s hand away. 

“Dude!” Nick gives Lark a knock-it-off look and pulls his arm out of the other man’s reach. 

Lark grins wide and mischievous. 

“You’re gonna give me away,” Nick says. “To who?” Lark asks, waving his hand to motion around the Oak’s backyard. “The assembled toddlers?” Across the space there are stumbling kids, and the parents trying to keep them from falling off plastic playsets or tripping on hoses and garden plots. 

“There are grownups here too, man,” Nick says. 

“Oh.” Lark looks around at the small group of parents that aren’t in on the whole Nick-is-a-demon thing. It’s a small group, but it is a group none-the-less. “right.” His sparkler sizzles happily. 

“Where did you find all of these people anyway?” Nick asks. 

“I don’t know,” Lark says, “but Sparrow and Rebecca have friends, apparently.” 

There’s a lull in the conversation long enough for one of the many children running around to pull to a stop in front of them. 

“That’s so cool Uncle Lark!” Hero grins wide and stares at the fizzing toy. 

“Merry christmas.” Lark hands the firework down to the kid and Hero smiles wildly and not unlike  a young Sparrow. “Don’t light yourself on fire.” Lark calls after her, pretending to be a responsible adult. He watches her run in the dimming evening light. He never spends too much time thinking about Hero’s childhood, if he did then teaching her how to fight would only hurt worse, so he grabs the box of sparklers and shakes out another stick. 

“Don’t even think about it.” Nick holds up his hands and steps out of the other man’s range. Lark whines pathetically, but puts the sparkler back.

“Fine.” He tucks the box safely into his back pocket and leans against the fence. Nick resets himself at Lark’s side. 

“Nice to see you out of kevlar for a change,” Nick says. It’s not an understatement, the five of them have been working almost nonstop for three months. In all that time Nick hasn’t seen Lark as anything but a murderer hyped up on monster energy drinks, head-to-toe in gear, sporting at least three weapons. 

“Still strapped,” Lark says. “Don’t tell Sparrow.” “He is too.” Nick shrugs. “Told me not to tell you.”

Lark laughs, short and deep, and both men glance warily up at the sky. It hasn’t been long since they switched everything, since they made the world move under their feet. It still makes Lark a little nauseous. 

“Did you hear what Terry did?” Lark asks. He doesn’t have anything to fidget with since he promised Sparrow he’d leave his butterfly knife at home and the sparklers are in his pocket so he picks at the wood on the tall privacy fence around his backyard. 

“I’m not sure I want to know.”

“It’s not bad,” Lark says, “Just weird.” Nick raises an eyebrow, curious.

“He rolled the dice,” Lark says.

“The Die another Day Dice!?” Nick looks impressed, shocked, scared. None of the rest of them, even Lark, has tried that. Life’s too bleak to know when he’s going to die. 

“A couple days ago,” Lark says. He pulls a satisfying splinter off the wall, turns it around in his hand and presses little lines into it with his fingernail.

“That explains why he’s been staring at the doodler sunset for twenty minutes now,” Nick mumbles. 

Lark looks up and follows Nick’s eyes to Terry standing in the middle of miniature baby chaos knot, holding kombucha and not moving. The porch lights flick on behind him and Lark hears Nick chuckle. 

“What?” Lark asks. 

“Nothing, just.--Mortals,” Nick says. 

“You’re mortal,” Lark reminds sourly. A little less mortal than the rest of them, but mortal. At least they’re pretty sure Nick is somewhat mortal. A little bit. On his mother’s side. “But not like you,” Nick says. 

Lark sighs,

“I know.” There’s a long moment where Lark watches Terry, then breaks his tiny piece of wood in half, then in half again. Then he says, “Will you catch us on the other side?”

Nick makes that back-of-the-mouth thoughtful noise that he picked up from his kinda dad, Glenn, then says, 

“Of course- but how are you so sure you’re going to hell? Lark gives him an unamused stare. 

“Terry at least has a chance,” Nick says. Lark looks back at Terry, turns that possibility over and over in his head. He doesn't know what makes a good person, at least not anymore, but Terry surely qualifies. Only problem is,

“Terry made the same decision we did. Can’t take that back.”

Nick doesn’t have any way to argue. He leans against the fence and stares. “So will you catch us on the other side, at least to say hello?” Lark asks again. Snaps the last bit of splinter that he can before dropping the wooden flakes to the ground. “I’ll catch you,” Nick says. Then noticing Lark surreptitiously sneaking the sparklers out of his pocket again says, “You can light one more sparkler…I guess”

[dwynwenscottage]

“The Whitsun Weddings”

That Whitsun, I was late getting away:

Not till about

One-twenty on the sunlit Saturday

Did my three-quarters-empty train pull out,

All windows down, all cushions hot, all sense

Of being in a hurry gone. We ran

Behind the backs of houses, crossed a street

Of blinding windscreens, smelt the fish-dock; thence

The river’s level drifting breadth began,

Where sky and Lincolnshire and water meet.

All afternoon, through the tall heat that slept

For miles inland,

A slow and stopping curve southwards we kept.

Wide farms went by, short-shadowed cattle, and

Canals with floatings of industrial froth;

A hothouse flashed uniquely: hedges dipped

And rose: and now and then a smell of grass

Displaced the reek of buttoned carriage-cloth

Until the next town, new and nondescript,

Approached with acres of dismantled cars.

At first, I didn’t notice what a noise

The weddings made

Each station that we stopped at: sun destroys

The interest of what’s happening in the shade,

And down the long cool platforms whoops and skirls

I took for porters larking with the mails,

And went on reading. Once we started, though,

We passed them, grinning and pomaded, girls

In parodies of fashion, heels and veils,

All posed irresolutely, watching us go,

As if out on the end of an event

Waving goodbye

To something that survived it. Struck, I leant

More promptly out next time, more curiously,

And saw it all again in different terms:

The fathers with broad belts under their suits

And seamy foreheads; mothers loud and fat;

An uncle shouting smut; and then the perms,

The nylon gloves and jewellery-substitutes,

The lemons, mauves, and olive-ochres that

Marked off the girls unreally from the rest.

Yes, from cafés

And banquet-halls up yards, and bunting-dressed

Coach-party annexes, the wedding-days

Were coming to an end. All down the line

Fresh couples climbed aboard: the rest stood round;

The last confetti and advice were thrown,

And, as we moved, each face seemed to define

Just what it saw departing: children frowned

At something dull; fathers had never known

Success so huge and wholly farcical;

The women shared

The secret like a happy funeral;

While girls, gripping their handbags tighter, stared

At a religious wounding. Free at last,

And loaded with the sum of all they saw,

We hurried towards London, shuffling gouts of steam.

Now fields were building-plots, and poplars cast

Long shadows over major roads, and for

Some fifty minutes, that in time would seem

Just long enough to settle hats and say

I nearly died,

A dozen marriages got under way.

They watched the landscape, sitting side by side

—An Odeon went past, a cooling tower,

And someone running up to bowl—and none

Thought of the others they would never meet

Or how their lives would all contain this hour.

I thought of London spread out in the sun,

Its postal districts packed like squares of wheat:

There we were aimed. And as we raced across

Bright knots of rail

Past standing Pullmans, walls of blackened moss

Came close, and it was nearly done, this frail

Travelling coincidence; and what it held

Stood ready to be loosed with all the power

That being changed can give. We slowed again,

And as the tightened brakes took hold, there swelled

A sense of falling, like an arrow-shower

Sent out of sight, somewhere becoming rain.

Philip Larkin

[sparrownnax]

For the character ask game: Hero?

How I feel about this character

So regularpilled about her. i have nothing wrong with me. she has a whole career planned out despite the very real possibility that she would just die. i am very proud of her. a little bit of projection as well, for my health.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

honestly? i do also lean aro Hero but i do like the idea of Hero/Scary. it's kinda fun

My non-romantic OTP with this character

i think Glenn should be her insane grandpa. it would be fun. either that or Nicky being her cool uncle. it would put Glenn in an awkward social position with my Glenn&Lark Cool New Dad concept but i can make it work.

My unpopular opinion on this character

can't have an unpopular opinion if nobody else has opinions on her give that girl more physical disabilities NOW!! may elaborate on another post but just know i'm correct

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

let her take a year off to go do whatever dumb bullshit she so chooses. she was meant to be the saviour of like two different realms she needs to take some time doing jack shit. keep her away from NASA for a little while. funded by DADDIES obviously. also if we had just seen more of her but oh well

edit: fixed!

[piss-wizard-ao3]

dndads season 2 episode 1 CONSUMED

my thoughts:

-the entire cast is very fun im very excited to be here!! -normal vomits like. a lot. is he okay?? hes gonna have mad reflux surely. it fuckin sucks i feel for him -if scary isnt canonically trans shes trans now. congrats queen -taylor swift is the biggest fucking incel in the making this man severely needs a father figure. please universe help curb him from the path of wearing a fedora and making even More women uncomfortable -i know lark is initially like introduced as normals uncle but like. he rebecca isnt dating/married to both lark + sparrow im going to eat my hat. sometimes u just wanna fuck twins and i respect that -i really love what anthony has done w/ the magic items and having a break roll! hopefully theyll get more cool items bc theyll be breaking all the time, but i think it makes them More valuable in a way as well. using them less for shits and giggles and more for useful things

[quoteoftheweekblog]

QUOTATIONS - PHILIP LARKIN’S ‘THE WHITSUN WEDDINGS‘ (FIRST PUBLISHED 1964)

‘The Whitsun Weddings’:

‘That Whitsun, I was late getting away:     Not till about One-twenty on the sunlit Saturday Did my three-quarters-empty train pull out, All windows down, all cushions hot, all sense   Of being in a hurry gone. We ran Behind the backs of houses, crossed a street Of blinding windscreens, smelt the fish-dock; thence   The river’s level drifting breadth began, Where sky and Lincolnshire and water meet. All afternoon, through the tall heat that slept       For miles inland, A slow and stopping curve southwards we kept.   Wide farms went by, short-shadowed cattle, and   Canals with floatings of industrial froth;   A hothouse flashed uniquely: hedges dipped   And rose: and now and then a smell of grass   Displaced the reek of buttoned carriage-cloth   Until the next town, new and nondescript,   Approached with acres of dismantled cars. At first, I didn’t notice what a noise     The weddings made Each station that we stopped at: sun destroys   The interest of what’s happening in the shade, And down the long cool platforms whoops and skirls   I took for porters larking with the mails,   And went on reading. Once we started, though,   We passed them, grinning and pomaded, girls   In parodies of fashion, heels and veils,   All posed irresolutely, watching us go, As if out on the end of an event     Waving goodbye To something that survived it. Struck, I leant   More promptly out next time, more curiously,   And saw it all again in different terms:   The fathers with broad belts under their suits   And seamy foreheads; mothers loud and fat;   An uncle shouting smut; and then the perms,   The nylon gloves and jewellery-substitutes,   The lemons, mauves, and olive-ochres that Marked off the girls unreally from the rest.       Yes, from cafés And banquet-halls up yards, and bunting-dressed   Coach-party annexes, the wedding-days   Were coming to an end. All down the line Fresh couples climbed aboard: the rest stood round; The last confetti and advice were thrown, And, as we moved, each face seemed to define   Just what it saw departing: children frowned   At something dull; fathers had never known Success so huge and wholly farcical;     The women shared The secret like a happy funeral; While girls, gripping their handbags tighter, stared   At a religious wounding. Free at last, And loaded with the sum of all they saw, We hurried towards London, shuffling gouts of steam.   Now fields were building-plots, and poplars cast   Long shadows over major roads, and for Some fifty minutes, that in time would seem Just long enough to settle hats and say     I nearly died, A dozen marriages got under way. They watched the landscape, sitting side by side —An Odeon went past, a cooling tower,   And someone running up to bowl—and none   Thought of the others they would never meet   Or how their lives would all contain this hour.   I thought of London spread out in the sun,   Its postal districts packed like squares of wheat: There we were aimed. And as we raced across       Bright knots of rail Past standing Pullmans, walls of blackened moss   Came close, and it was nearly done, this frail   Travelling coincidence; and what it held   Stood ready to be loosed with all the power   That being changed can give. We slowed again, And as the tightened brakes took hold, there swelled A sense of falling, like an arrow-shower   Sent out of sight, somewhere becoming rain.’ (Larkin in Poetry Foundation, 2023).

REFERENCE

Poetry Foundation (2023) 'The Whitsun weddings'. Available at: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48411/the-whitsun-weddings (Accessed 28 May 2023).

[abeinginsand]

#lark swapping places with spiderman sparrow but not having powers is gonna rot my brain#thats really good. Thats Really Good#and glenn being the uncle ben... my fuckin feelingsss RAH#this is so so so good abe i love it (tags from @officialgleamstar) Travis, I'm glad you love the concepts, especially for au Lark and Glenn!! You bringing up Lark's part in this, gave me another idea :3c

The first time Lark swaps places with Sparrow, Sparrow is completely unaware. See Sparrow's been working way too hard fighting crime and dealing with school etc and is finally getting some sleep after Lark convinces them. Lark's playing some games while relaxing on their bed while Sparrow is asleep. The bedroom window is open and there's a scream. Lark is almost about to ignore it, but Sparrow says a sleepy "what was that?" while softly patting one of their brother's hands.

He looks at the window and back at his twin and softly pats their hair with a gentle smile. Lark's relieved that Sparrow is looking a little less drained (he was really worried). "Nothing, go back to dreamland, brother" (or sister/sibling, Lark changes that up every few days/weeks) Sparrow goes back to sleep with a smile and Lark here's another scream. I think Sparrow never kept the identity a secret from Lark, so its easy to get to the outfit and suit up. Also Lark likes wolves too so the whole wolf suit is pretty cool/exciting, I think he and Top Hat (the radioactive spider) don't get along though. ("You're lucky Sparrow loves you or I would toss you out the window right now >:[ ") Anyways, he does save the day but like he started on instant hard mode given no powers. "Ugh I'll go save them I guess! ...How do I get over there though? Whatever, I'll figure it out." Determination and creativity get him through it all though and when he gets back in to their room, Sparrow's awake and waiting for him. Sparrows swivels one of their gaming chairs around in the dark haha as Lark crawls through the window lol. Sparrow tackles him into hug though after seeing how banged up he looks. Lark is noticeably happy though--partly because he's always had a soft spot for their hugs but mainly because this was the most thrilling night of his life so far!!

Sparrow Spiderman AU

Radioactive wolf spider bites teen Sparrow who was definitely playing with said spider beforehand. Spiders and wolves are just so friend-shaped after all, so of course a wolf spider would be as well! Feel like Sparrow named the spider Top Hat (not sure why other than silliness) and the spider sticks around like Nick jr on Glenn's shoulder

Powers listed below:

Barely noticeable fangs normally but all teeth turn razor sharp temporarily for combat etc cold resistance/minor ice and plant magic? cannot make webs but can high jump half mask, floral and wolf theme (yes their mask has wolf ears...and probably fluffy leg warmers/arm warmers) Who is the person Sparrow couldn't save? I was thinking about Lark but that lead to a villain route. Maybe that is a villain the twins face off against at some point--would be an older Sparrow. But for the main au, maybe Glenn? Close-Freeman and Oak Garcia families are really close here! Glenn's like a fun and mischievous uncle to the twins. Helping teach them how to drive recently too. Lark, Sparrow, Nick, Grant, and Terry are still friends. Nick's been a friend to the twins since childhood, they met Grant in middle school, while Terry is a new transfer student. All of the teens are in the school's adventurer's guild. Its a dnd club that Henry founded when he was in school. Sparrow took over the mantle and brought the club back into existence. Lark brought the 'literally sneaking out and adventuring like when we were kids but more intense' part into things. They lead the club together but Lark doesn't want to be held responsible for dealing with faculty etc so he's a normal club member on paper. I think it could be fun if Lark swaps places with Sparrow sometimes as the spiderhero, did he get bitten too? Possibly and/or maybe the two have a bunch of gadgets for him to use. Added shenanigans...Lark and Sparrow can communicate telepathically sometimes (after both were bitten). At some point Lark does make his own costume, but the two still have fun switching around as usual. Both Nick and Glenn still dislike spider here and while Sparrow was plenty mischievous regarding that info as a kid (and Nick also brought up snakes in revenge), they are pretty...worried about either of them finding out about Sparrow being part spider now.

[midnigtartist]

I’m having several big and complex feelings about this moment